got into college!!

 everything worked out in the end! i got accepted into Northeastern University EDII.. i still can't believe it :'). i will most likely be studying computer science and math (combined major) but I'll likely switch to just cs if i feel like the math part is not useful. I've read that the cs classes that you don't take during the combined major aren't useful anyway and the math classes you do take with the combined major are useful especially for AI/ML, and it will also make me stand out when applying for positions. i think it will also put me at an advantage if i decide to go to into data science so it does make me a more versatile applicant if i do want to go outside of software engineering. 

I'm just so relieved that i know where I'm going for college now; i really didn't think i would get into any good university after getting rejected from Cornell, Georgia Tech, and deferred from USC. i did get into UB honors though lol with like a 50% scholarship but that doesn't count

I'm so excited for the fall. i know i will be successful in the future and i know that the co-op program is goated lets goooo

i got accepted like 2 days ago on valentines day so yeah that was the best valentines day gift ever who needs love

see you next time future me!!! i don't wanna turn 18

2enior 4ear

 ok so i didn't disappear for 6 months let's goooo

yeah senior year has been rough so far. i had to drop ap lang because i did not understand anything in that class (well technically not everything but most of it), like how are you supposed to use aristotle's canons to analyze a eulogy of president reagan's passing? I'm starting to get major imposter syndrome too, ig this is what being a woman in stem feels like. i was literally one of the worst scorers on my first ap physics c quiz. i would have been more upset if i was the lowest scorer though so honestly I'm ok. I'll just do better on the next one since I barely studied for this one. and I'm not trying to give myself excuses for doing poorly either, i was genuinely really busy with ap lang (so happy I dropped it) and other classes that i just couldn't study. i promise i will do really well on the next one which is on dynamics. also I'm so happy i dropped ap lang because everyone there is such a tryhard and teacher's pets they're just so annoying. I'm with one of my friends now in cp so yayyyy

since my last post in july, i've learned so much regarding cs and programming knowledge. i can build a website on my own, obviously i don't memorize what to type for a function, style, or HTML structure, but i basically understand everything so i just need to use references to help me build it. i think I'm pretty on track with college applications too. i just need to refine my common app essay. the uc piq's are pretty straightforward; i've started brainstorming for all of them and i have a gist of what I'm gonna write about for each one. for my supplemental, it should take me a couple of hours for each school to research so i think those will be fine too. I'm just gonna write some manifestations here: everything is going to be alright, i will get into a good university, everything is going to work out in the end.

oh yeah and tomorrow i have 3 interviews. on the same day. you know what that's just great. i literally had my schedule open from the 11th to 22nd and they all decided to team up on me and book it on the same day :D. i hope i get multiple internship offers. god I'm so nervous

i will try to update soon. (by soon i mean in a couple of months)

where do i start

hello. it's july 22, 2023. i'm going to be a senior in high school in literally a month. i'm so stressed about college and the whole application process. maybe it's because i've been on reddit r/chanceme and r/applyingtocollege too much, but i feel like i'm no where close to good enough. i don't want to be rejected everywhere - that's my worst fear. i wish i had done more in freshman and sophomore year. i feel so worthless at the moment. every applicant i see on reddit as some sort of impressive research with t10 unis, won gold in USACO, etc. and i'm here with barely any awards and impressive extracurriculars. CS is such a competitive major too, so all the acceptance rates of any college is really divided by 3 if ur a CS major. i don't want to apply to another major though; i genuinely like CS. but i feel so worthless and uncompetitive compared to other applicants that i'm seeing. i have so many things to do, but i don't know where to get started. first, i have to worry about my gwc program and finish as much as i can as well as my dual enrollment classes (intro to administrative justice, intro to sociology). i also have my final for living earth on monday, but to be honest i'm not too concerned about that. i also have kwk coming up in a couple of weeks which will occupy most of my day. i have to finish my commonapp essay which is honestly not looking too bad so far (i'm still on my first draft) and worry about all the supplementals i have to write. i also have to write my UC PIQs. i have to study for the sat and score at least a 1500 or i'm screwed. i have to worry about my 5 ap classes in the fall and possibly intro to stats at ivc. i have to worry about the standout search program as well as my internship. and i'm planning to build some sort of model that uses web scraping and machine learning to detect products on alibaba that steals designs from companies (this is a stretch though i don't think it's gonna happen). i'm also planning to learn as much cs as i can to win some hackathons since my awards list is literally just ap scholar w/ honors. i want to get another internship too, i feel like 1 isn't enough. again, i just feel so uncompetitive compared to my applicant pool and i don't think i'm even going to get accepted to any one of the schools i apply to. my worst fear at the moment is going to community college. i feel like it gets looked down so much and i don't want to look like a failure. i'm going to ED to cornell bc it's the best ivy for CS, has amazing connections being that it has a campus in NYC and is a close drive to many populated cities, and the campus is beautiful, at least from what i heard. god i really do hope i get into a good school. time is flying by so fast. 

jan 2, 2023

it's 2023! and it's also been over a year since i wrote on here. i can't believe time passed so fast between then. i am very proud to announce to my 2021 self that i now have friends :'). i honestly forgot what it felt like to have friends from 2020 - early 2022. i was simply talking to one person or none at all everyday. i mean i still don't have a lot of friends at school but it's nice to know that i have people to talk to now. and this really puts into perspective how lonely i was in 10th grade. i literally had 0 friends. would cry myself to sleep very often. glad that's over

i wanna go back to nyc... i really miss seeing all my friends and family as well as the atmosphere of the city

i also basically quit tiktok im basically only on instagram reels now haha never thought that would happen

for 2023 i plan to go to the gym and get in shape. i also want to get into a good college. im gonna start exploring the computer science field and try to get as much done as possible before college application szn

life rn is kind of confusing honestly i don't really know if im happy, sad, satisfied, unsatisfied, etc

im also kinda mad how im stuck at 5'5 i really wanna be taller (i promise im not a pick me i genuinely wanna be taller). i guess its not bad tho cuz it's taller than average for a woman? bro if ur a male and under 5'9 dont call me short ur literally below average it doesnt matter if im shorter than u ur still short for a male cuz i would be taller than u if i was a male and u would be shorter than me if u were a female

im prolly gonna read back on this and ask myself why im so concerned about height

my fav artist is grentperez (just wanted to put this here)

ok i think thats all im gonna write for now; see u next time 😈 (whether that be next year or in a couple months idrk)

it's been a while

ok so last time when i said it was going to be a year since i typed on here again i guess it was true. i'm 15 now. so old right? well not really in my eyes. i think 15 is semi-mature, not quite there yet though. i think 16 is when people take you seriously for your age. anyways, i just moved to irvine, california. i don't know how i feel about it. it's pretty chill here but it doesn't have the same feeling as nyc. i can't just go out and walk to dunkin donuts in 10 mins or see my friend that lives 10 mins away as well. the school here is pretty chill here too i guess. i like how there are breaks implemented every 1-2 classes. i don't have any friends yet though and this is the 3rd week of school. i don't even know how to make friends like i try to speak louder bc i know that i'm a quiet speaker but i think i just come off as aggressive when i do that :/.  i guess i don't really need friends at my school since it's mainly just lunch and breaks where you interact and it's not like nyc where you look lonely at the lunch table so that's a plus. i'm really hoping that i make friends at clubs and i probably will since they share similar interests with me. i also want the school to close really badly because the homework is really stressing me out. 

today i found out about Titan, a one of saturn's moons. it's the closest thing in the solar system to earth, meaning that humans could actually live there. the only differences are that it's much colder and there are higher level of nitrogen. it has also been proven that life is possible there. i can't wait for the future to see what happens in the solar system. 

i said i would do stock trading and stuff over the summer but i guess that wasn't true either 

let's see when i'll write on here again maybe in a couple of weeks or even a year who knows lmao

bye

tie toll

 Okay. I'm officially enrolled in high school now, probably some of the most important years of my life. It's only the 3rd day but I'm pretty sure it's going to get much more harder from here. 

My Earth Science teacher's first impression kind of disappointed me. A girl on the Zoom call was lagging (her mic was lagging) and he thought that she was playing a trumpet. LOLLL. He said "Miss, if you don't stop playing that instrument I'm going to have to kick you out.", and the other students were like "Mr. Lall I think her mic is lagging.". He just denied it and actually thought she was playing a trumpet. Smh.

Also, today's September 18th. It's been 4 months since my birthday. I'm now 14 and 1/3 years old. Yay.

There's not much to update on since it's only been one month since I blogged on here, so I'm going to end it here. Maybe I'll write on here in a month or two or maybe even in a year. Who knows.

bye

Quarantine.

 Heyyyy, I'm back. I'm 14 now...it's been about a year since I've blogged on here. 

12 year old me really thought that 13 was old and such a big number while I'm 14 over here and I still think that I'm considered a baby to adults. To be frank, I think that 16-17 is when people start to think that you're actually getting older. The point where people don't think you're a baby anymore. 

My family is talking about moving to California since the weather and schools are amazing there. It's also because I didn't get into a good high school.  I really regret my decisions in 6th grade, I had the chance to be a whole new person and ace middle school, but I blew it. I would say that I'm above average in terms of intelligence (NOT STREET SMARTS LOL) because I don't put in a ton of effort into my school work very often but I'm still one of the top students in my class, while some students work a lot harder than me and aren't top students of the class, which I feel is pretty unfair to be honest. I'm blessed to be somewhat naturally smart. 

So yeah, about high school..I got into Aviation High School at first which is actually pretty good but then I switched to Thomas A Edison High School because Avi is far and the percentage of girls at that school is 20%. I regret my decision once again because I don't even need to travel to school since we're in quarantine now. Sigh. 

I've noticed over these past years that I'm starting to have really deep thoughts. I'm starting to think more about my future and the bigger picture of life. I don't think I'm going to be as happy as I am now in 10 years because I'm probably going to have a lot more stress put on me than I do now because of adult responsibilities. 

We're in quarantine now, and it's been really boring. But, I'm also glad that I don't have to go to school in person. I think that I learn better at home :). I got a 99 in math while learning in quarantine.

Speaking about quarantine, I've been watching a lot of Running Man lately. I don't think I'll ever stop watching it (unless something bad happens to the show). It's been keeping me entertained and sane during these times. My favorite members are Jeon So Min and Lee Kwang Soo. I don't understand why people hate So Min. It kind of hurts me to see her get so much hate. The more and more I find out about her, the more I look up to her. She can dance, write lyrics, write books, act, entertain, and so much more. She's my inspiration :)

Since I've been watching a lot of Running Man, I've been trying to learn Korean. It's really hard since I can't find any good free apps to learn from, so I've been using Duolingo. I think I've learned a decent amount of Korean so far because I can read some Korean comments on YT. I hope I can be able to learn more.

That's all I have to say for now. I'll probably write here again soon, but it's not guaranteed. I bet I'll be 16 when I come back lol